What a miracle day. We contacted a whole lot and did the work like we should. The secret to the gospel is live it, breath it, and test it always. Faith, I've found, grows a lot like a fire. If we feed it with actions, it grows higher. I've found, mysteriously, that in the mission there are a lot of spiritual would-be giants who have a whole bunch of wood stored up but are afraid of acting and throwing it in. They are satisfied with warming themselves with their little coals and the occasional warmth from another and fail to realize that by acting courageously on what they teach, they will help others more as well as themselves. Many missionaries hide behind memorized phrases and introductions and when they get rejected they shrug as if they could see why they were rejected, then they keep on doing the same thing. Sometimes I feel like saying... hey wake up guys!!. This is true or it's not. There is no point in knocking on any door and sacrificing 2 years of your life just to be satisfied with routines and robotic like actions. If we believe that the atonement is true and that Jesus Christ suffered for our sins, surely we can have the courage to individualize our contacts, and speak from the heart instead of the lips. It's interesting how the apostasy, when described to Joseph was a disconnect between the mouth and the heart. I've seen way too many missionaries that just recite something memorized, take rejection, and pat themselves on the back at the end of the day. Or they give a blessing without pausing to feel the spirit, or they will contact every single house without once asking God where to go.
Can you imagine! No! If you serve a mission like that, you are doomed to hate it and probably will go inactive afterwards. The power and faith and change that a mission brings is the conversion of wood into fire. It's saying, "Repent and be saved"and meaning it. It's feeling the warmth in our own lives and telling people to try it out for themselves. It's not faking anything. There are too many missionaries who are shivering on the inside, yet saying they are feeling the fire. They have a form of godliness but deny the power thereof. I've started only contacting houses if I really believe in what I am saying, and if I feel like God sent me there. I don't say anything that isn't honest or a half truth. I say what I believe. I am converting into a disciple of Christ inside and out, who is motivated by sincerity and not obligation. I've tried out the gospel in my life. It works. I feel happy. I share the happiness. I feel happy for sharing it. I'm happy. I've found that that method of sharing the gospel is so much better than doing it out of obligation. God doesn't want fakers, he wants believers who recognize the trials of life at the first part of the sentence, yet testify of God's goodness at the end. He needs true disciples. That's why he sends people, with problems, difficulties, doubts and fears to knock on doors instead of robots with smiley faces plastered on. Now when I contact I ask "Do you believe in God? Because I REALLY do, after looking a long time, I've found what I believe is true about him. What I have to share really will bless your life. You can actually really have a family that lasts forever, you can actually pray and get answers to your prayers, God actually speaks through a prophet today. Can you please give me 10 minutes to share something with you that could possibly change your life?"Each time I talk it changes. In almost every door I knock on I can enter and teach a lesson now or set an appointment for another day or at least find out if they want the restored gospel. It's a lot happier this way. I love it so much.
Anyway, we came back to the house and I was sitting thinking about how I had worked all that night doing God's will instead of mine and wondering if he was grateful or not for it or if he would show it to me. As I thought in that theme, a sister from the church came and gave us a huge, hot calzone that smelled amazing. It was delicious. As I ate it my mind was funneled into thinking of the rain and cold and rejections of the night that we had just faced. I then had the thought come clearly ÿes, I am grateful for what you do". I smiled and looked at the dictionary I was studying and found I was on the page for the definition of "perdon"or forgiveness. I felt a great peace come over me and I smiled and gave thanks to God for the clones and the opportunity we had to be workers in the vineyard that cold and rainy night of rejection. These little personal revelation come every single day now. I know that the tender mercies actually really are everywhere, if we would but keep the commandments then we might be able to see them more in our life. They come by our faith. They are everywhere almost in every moment. They are all around us as Nephi says.
This church is true. I know that. I'm happy. I'm not perfect, but I try, and Jesus Christ makes up the rest, so I am happy, dependant on Christ... yes, but independent from stress, the world and the pain caused by iniquity. God is great. Good night.
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